Kimberly Zapata is a wife, mother, writer, and distance runner who has struggled with depression since she was 15. She is a regular contributor for Babble and Sammiches and Psych Meds, and her work has been featured on numerous websites and online publications, including Washington Post, Huff Post, Scary Mommy, Mamalode, Little Things, YourTango, BLUNTMoms, Mom Babble, Ravishly, Romper, Bonbon Break, The Mighty, The Good Men Project, and Yahoo Health. Additionally, her work appears in Lose The Cape: Never Will I Ever (and then I had kids!) and The HerStories Project’s latest anthology, So Glad They Told Me: Women Get Real About Motherhood.
Kim, your blog does inspire me!! 🙂
Thanks so much Samoina!
Hi Kim – I read your recent post on depression for Blogher, and I wanted to say that I was incredibly moved. Thank you so very much for your words. I hope you keep on fighting.
You have no clue how comforting this blog has been. I suffered from PPD and reading your blog let’s me know I’m not alone or a bad mom. The article on not breastfeeding for your own mental health was AMAZING!! I also gave up BF’ing because I needed to take meds and feel normal so I could start to recover. I use to lie and tell people my daughter wouldn’t latch because I was embarrassed and felt selfish. But, honestly, I realize now that it was the most unselfish thing I could of done for her. So many women suffer in silence and your blog is beautiful!
Wow. Thank you so much Brittany. While I am sorry you can relate (because if you can relate you know my pain) I am so glad you’ve found a voice that echoed your own. Hugs to you!
I’m so happy I found your blog. It’s so difficult to find people willing to talk about depression/anxiety while being a mom. I got diagnosed at 17 (I’m 31 now) we have a 4 year old daughter. In my heart I really want another child, but my brain tells me that my depression/anxiety will prevent me from having another one.
Hi Kim, I just wanted to thank you for the article about stay at home mom’s in the Huffington Post. I stay home with my 2 year old son. This is a 2nd marriage for my husband and I, together we have 4 kids. I had 1 child, he had 2 and we have 1 together, he was born when I was 43 and my husband 44. My oldest was 15 when the baby was born. We now have a college freshman, a high school sophomore, a 7th grader, and a 2 year old toddler, who I must admit is a tad spoiled. I could have written your article. When we found out we were expecting we were absolutely shocked but equally thrilled. I fell in 2009 and broke 4 vertebra so we knew we would be in for a long 9 months. At around 6 weeks I was told to leave my job due to unresolved issues with my back and nerve damage. I was unable to drive, my husband worked longer hours to make up for the lost income and I was miserable. Around the 2nd trimester things seemed to improve and I didn’t mind being home as much. I of course ended up with postpartum depression after his birth and now suffer from depression caused because I had a baby late in life and am pre-menopausal. When he was 3 months old I ended up in the hospital with emergency back surgery caused by lifting the baby. Talk about feeling like a failure. I am so much better mentally then I was at that time, I think the first year, or at least the first 6 months I was on auto pilot. That time period is pretty much a blur. The baby came early via scheduled C-Section in which I hemorrhaged, he was in NICU and I was close to being placed in ICU. I did not see him for the first day of his life, family members held him before I did. Everything and anything brought me to tears and at times still does. Some days it feels like no one understands that although I treasure the time with my toddler, I also would love some me time. Some mental relief time. Your article in the Huffington Post hit the nail on the head. Some days I feel like a failure as a mother, almost daily the thought of “what were we thinking” pops into my head, but most of all I miss me. Having an 18 year old I know that this phase of our life will be gone soon, and I will miss it like crazy. I know that these toddler days are precious and that in the blink of an eye he will be leaving for college. I know all of this yet there are days where I miss me, I miss the woman I was prior to being injured and having a baby. I miss my career and having daily lunch with friends and co-workers. I miss adult conversation. I miss using my adult brain. I miss it all and it seems the only people that can relate to this are stay at home mothers or mothers that at one time stayed home. When my husband walks through the door I think ” thank God I will finally have some peace” but sadly it never happens. He doesn’t get it. Friends don’t get it. Family doesn’t get it. Fellow stay at home moms, they get it. I am not alone.
Thank You!
Hi Kimberly, I don’t know if you do the blogging award thing. If you do, there’s one here for you: http://aspernauts.com/2015/12/08/blogger-recognition-award/ Kx
Hi Kimberly,
I just discovered your blog and I am so happy I did. Your way with words, truly is amazing. I am curious, did you come up with the title or is that a fixed expression? Because I just love. Forgive me if it a stupid question, English is not my first language. KR, Awa
Thank you so very much, Awa. Truly. It means a lot. As for the title, Sunshine Spoils Milk was actually a name I came up with myself. (I was a new mother when I began this blog — a new breastfeeding mother struggling with postpartum depression — and it really seemed to encapsulate all of my feelings at that time.)
I had missed this space Kimberly, so today it is me, again. visiting from Kenya.
This reply caught my eye because I have always wondered what inspired the name of your blog, when i read this it made lots of sense. Thanks for been so candid in your journey. You still are an inspiration for me (and many others I believe).
Sending so much love and light.
Hi Kim,
Thanks so much for your article about SNOO in Babble. I’d love to talk with you about it. I know it is pricy compared to other baby beds – but as you can see from the testimonials of parents who have used it, it actually offers much more than that it’s: a beautiful designer bed + swing + best white noise machine + 3 organic cotton swaddles + insurance against rolling to a risky position + 1-2 hours more sleep/night + responsive sound/motion helps calm crying like a 24/7 night nurse-like help for 6 months + it helps sleep train babies to sleep better at night as early as 4-6 weeks….all for $1160, which comes to about $6.50/day (and just $3.25/night if you use it for your 2nd child). Also, I thought you would be interested to know that we are just starting 2 university studies on the use of this bed to reduce postpartum depression (often triggered by infant crying and sleep deprivation).
Let’s talk! Happy holidays!
Harvey