By Kimberly Zapata
I know what you may be thinking right now: How can I make my husband realize he has a problem? How can I make him realize he is an alcoholic? An alcoholic who is destroying himself. Killing himself. An alcoholic who is destroying me, and our entire family. How can I get my husband to put down the bottle? How the hell can I get him to stop?
Don’t get me wrong, I know you are thinking and feeling other things too: You may be hurt or angry, broken and despondent. You may be fearful or resentful. And while you probably hate the man he has become, you may also miss the man he was.
You may feel desperate.
You may feel hopeless.
Your relationship and your life may seem beyond repair.
But odds are, if you are reading this, you are searching for ways to help him stop. To make him stop. Because you want him to, and you need him to. And you may even be able to get him to, at least temporarily. (I cannot tell you how many times I got my own husband to “take a break” for his health. For his wellbeing. For me.) But more likely than not, your long-term efforts will fail. Because no addict can get help, or be helped, if they do not realize they have a problem.
No addict can get help if they do not admit they have a problem. And every addict needs to hit their own “breaking point.” Their own rock bottom.
There is nothing you can do to change that. There is nothing you can you do to stop it. And that sucks. Plain and f**king simple: It sucks.